Schedules were meant to be broken!

This is just gonna be a quick blurb just before I go to be. There is not gonna be a schedule for blogging for a while. Usually I blog whenever I feel like doing so and that just so happened to line up perfectly with the schedule I said I would stick to. Well, guess what: my new sleep schedule put in place for my insomnia is making me feel really whack, along with school. SO. Until things settle, blog posts can be expected to be few and far between. Unless by some miracle I actually get around to doing it more often now that I've mentioned my inactivity...just because life likes to fuck me up like that.

Quick recap of recent events: went to the mall with Morgan, Steven, and Hayden. Bought Burnout 3 Takedown for $5.99 (for PS2 this time because Sony is best!) and Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal for $1.99 (again, for PS2, obviously). Went over to Hayden's afterwards, played over 6 hours of CoD Zombies (sooooo boooooooring), ate a ton of food, and slept over. Got back home today and went shopping with the mother, ate dinner, dicked around for a couple hours, then settled in for Doctor Who.

House showing tomorrow. x.x Won't be online much other than really early and really late (if at all).

Getting up at 5:45am! Better sleep now. See all yous!

Fuuuuuuck.

So social networks are getting a little hectic...I cannot keep up with all of the things at once. That is complicated shit.

Before you read any further, open up this, this, this, this, or this for listening to over the duration of the post.

In case you haven't heard me obsess about it, Burnout 3: Takedown has to be one of my favouritist games. It has the absolute best soundtrack (like 44 songs long), involves lots of smashing and explosions, and has an unrealistic yet extremely entertaining take on the physics of driving a car. It has to be the best racing game I have ever played, and it's what...7+ years old? I've only had it for like 5 years, but it was released way before then. It's also the first place I ever heard some of my favourite bands and never realized it. It's how I suddenly got obsessed with Paper Wings by Rise Against about a month back. Yeah, all that plus the fact that it was my first Xbox game ever and I still own it, this game has a lot of history for me. Just like how Spyro was the first PlayStation game I ever played and has followed me around ever since.

SO. Now I've cashed my first paycheck (woo) and I've payed my brother back his $20 plus the $5 I owed him for helping with fliers during the huge overhaul week where I did three routes. All I've got leftover is a $20 bill in my wallet and an entire $19.24 in the bank account I set up today. This Scotiabank card is so sexy...I wanna use it right away! But I should really think hard about what I want before I buy anything since my paycheck sucks all the dicks...man I need a better job. Anyway, I still can't decide between old PS2 games such as GTA:SA and Vice City, padding, Magic: The Gathering cards, or if I should just slowly use it up for food purposes and busing and shit like that. SUCH TOUGH DECISIONS.

I just thought I'd mention...tried Little Caesars pizza tonight. It tasted a lot better than Gino's Pizza...and I nearly CHOKED on the first bite due to the starchy taste! I'm convinced that Gino's is just glorified cardboard. :P

I think I should go to bed now. Just wanted to post something since I haven't been active for a few days. And I might not post a while longer because I hope to load up my entire weekend with social interaction (maybe it'd help if I actually turned on my chat clients...but people are annoying when Minecraft...). Though I did have a huge discussion about pedophilia with someone on Twitter (who has a small chunk of fame) which was kinda fun.

I'm going to bed after Paper Wings and Tears Into Wine!

'Night guys!

Hm.

Somebody needs to yell at me every time I don't update this, because seriously I got 25 views on Sunday which is insane. Maybe some people thought I was gonna bitch about 9/11, which would be hypocritical because I hate when other people bring it up. But I haven't done a blog post for a couple days, so it must have been a disappointment.

Anywho. I may ponder everything in my head for hours on end when I have trouble sleeping or am riding in a car for a long boring stretch, but I have never thought about the realities of war as intensely as my grade 10 History class is getting me to visualize. I'm surprised I haven't had nightmares about it all yet...hell, I'll probably have one tonight since I've been thinking about WWI like all day. I never want to go to war. There is no glory in it, and there is no reason on the planet important enough to get me to stick a gun in an innocent man's face and pull the trigger.

My teacher is really good at his job. I have to say History is my favourite subject so far this semester.

So lately I've been playing a lot of the Minecraft 1.8 Pre-Release. Being a huge Minecraft addict, I've probably put in about a total of 5 or 6 hours - maybe even more - in just the past two nights. It is the most amazing thing, adding things to survival that actually make it a true survival mode (requiring you to keep up a food meter, making certain things poisonous, etc.). I think it has been the most fun I have had paying a game in months, and I've played Fallout: New Vegas and Grand Theft Auto IV and LittleBigPlanet recently. I highly recommend the pre-release to everyone who has a Minecraft account.

Speaking of pre-releases, I am gonna try Windows 8 on both my computers once Scott gets two disks to me to burn the images to. Really anticipating this...if they learned anything from Vista to 7, it's that people want a lightweight, user-friendly OS that doesn't have tons of features that barely anyone can actually find a use for. So hopefully it'll run really well on my shittop (my school/work laptop) and allow me to do things like Minecraft on it.

Side note: I've been really digging old-style FPS games and dungeon crawlers. I need to get back to playign Half-Life 1 now that it's installed on the shittop.

And I've been addicted to eating raw spaghetti for the past month or so. Not surprising considering the strength of my oral fixation. I rarely ever chew things, so the crunchiness of the dry spaghetti helps exercise my jaw to a point where I'm equally content with going back to regular oral activities. I need something to chew on...not sure where I'll find anything though.

To sum up, classes have been pretty good, friends are pretty much the same as usual (not very enthusiastic about going out of their way to do social stuff), home life is pretty relaxing and entertaining (though not nearly enough as I'd like...vidya gaems are BORING), and I have like two crushes on people at school which I shall never reveal unless I feel like revealing them. Well, one is definitely a crush, but the other is less of a crush and more of a "I like this person but I'm iffy if I'd actually want to start anything with them ever". A thing I know for sure though is that neither of them are going to see any progress any time soon, and I can probably find much better matches if I look two feet farther. Online dating doesn't seem like something I'd want to start up again until I get more of a hold on school and a social life so...yeah, I guess I'll just stick it out for a while.

Welp, I'm tired and I need sleepy times! SO...bedtime!

'Night peeps.

How the hell did I even manage 1004 pageviews?

Anyway. Sorry about the hiatus, but school's been occupying my mind a lot lately and all I've been able to do is occasionally bitch about things on Twitter and my new Facebook account (which, in case you weren't aware, is now set-up and ready for friending). I think I need to see a doctor, because each night I'm coming home exhausted and end up falling asleep until dinner, then end up hanging around doing nothing until I feel like doing a couple hours of homework and crashing off to bed. It's not like I really have anything to do online, so I don't feel a strong enough urge to pull out my laptop or to bother with my mock-desktop thing. Homework has been severely easy and I'm probably fast-tracking Geography or something, so I've been doing quite a bit of homework to be able to hand in two units instead of one on Monday. I've been feeling overall just damn tired and I feel like I'm overworking myself but seem to be in a good, secure mood most of the time. For the first time ever, I can probably say it'd healthier for me to be slacking off more.

Did get that Magic: The Gathering deck the day of yester. I got "Grab for Power", and the booster pack that came with it actually consisted mostly of helpful cards. The cards are sexy and honestly they feel so much more awesome and nerdy than my Pokemon card collection of over 400 cards. And they smell so orgasmic...takes me back to the days when I used to visit the ol' card shop for Yu-Gi-Oh cards and protectors and deck boxes and all that beautiful garbage. It'd be fun to actually have someone to play against to figure out the rules and such and see if the deck is any good, but of course I won't be able to play against anyone until Monday.

It's painfully obvious that it's extremely easy for someone or something to upset me or get on my bad side. The day of yester, Scott and I went to grab me my Magic deck from Toys 'R' Us. Hayden texted me asking to come along, and I'm all like "Um...sure?", even though I knew he'd be a jerk when Scott was around and I never do anything with just Scott. Why can't I just tell people to fuck off when I want them to? Anyway...he came along and we bussed over to Limeridge and he decided to grab a drink from McDonalds before going to Toys 'R' Us, so Scott and I waited there so he could get himself a damned drink. Then we went into Toys 'R' Us and I bought the deck. Scott suggested we go back across the road to sit in the mall and look at my deck, so we headed over, and on the way Hayden decided to invite Scott over to his house - possibly for a sleepover - right in front of me. And if that didn't piss me off enough, he even took the liberty to tell me that I should call my Mom and tell her that only I'd need to be picked up. Thanks for rubbing it in, jerk.

So we went in the mall and I'm sweating hot and pissed off. Hayden drags us upstairs (I had my laptop bag with me along with my backpack, so it wasn't exactly fun for me to be walking a lot since my laptop is heavy as fuck and my bag was full of textbooks) and Scott and I looked over my deck while we waited for him to go into Hollisters to buy clothes. Afterwards we went back to his house, where I grabbed a cold drink and soon after called my Mom to pick me up as soon as she could. Funny thing is, even though I made the call right in front of them, neither of them figured out why I was leaving so soon until I called Hayden out for being a jerk. At which point he didn't even really apologize...rather, he just called himself a jerk several times. Then I was picked up, and my Mom and I grabbed Harveys for dinner. Pretty good dinner, but it didn't totally clear up my mood.

Today I've been in a pretty weird mood feeling dead and suffering from back pains and loss of will to eat. I did go to make Kraft Dinner and then forgot about it and my Mom cooked it the rest of the way for me. And we did get pizza and wings from The Bin which I actually did eat a large share of. But other than that I haven't really wanted to eat at all today. Yeah, I really need to see a doctor for so many reasons. Swept up the basement to get ready for my Mom bleaching the floor and moving my desk into the small room on the other side of the basement so I have a little office space. After installing new programs on my fresh installation of Windows 7 and spending about 6 hours trying to write this one blog post, I've finally got a bit of time to wind down and play Minecraft or something. I think. At least until Doctor Who is on.

Religion Rant!

So, as pretty much everyone already knows, I'm an atheist. I never really believed there was a god of any sort as a child, and for most of childhood pretended to be a full-on Christian but felt like I was still indecisive and that the religion itself was very unbelievable. I believe there could be some sort of deity or powerful force that rules over everything and/or had a hand in creating the universe, but I also think that humans would never be able to actually fully grasp the concept of such a powerful deity and worshiping it certainly does jack shit other than waste your time. So, that being the case, I do not believe in religion whatsoever.

Now let's start from the beginning. I think the worst part about religion has got to be the fact that parents use their children. Right from the beginning people shove their children into their religion and reprimand them and/or get all upset if they stray from the path or pick up a new religion altogether. They don't give the kid a choice; rather, they take advantage of a kid's vulnerability and programmability and hard-wire in the religion. They don't teach the kid any other options, and then the kid goes out into the world speaking like the religion is fact, and the kid ends up hating on other religions and being unaware that their own religion is just a belief and is not necessarily true. It's kinda sad when an otherwise smart kid starts talking about religion and treats someone like me like a piece of dirt because I don't follow their religion. It's like they think they automatically have power and status over me because they worship something that's more powerful than anything ever, and I'm somehow being disrespectful by not worshiping him. And what I hate above all else...when people think I should actually give a shit about the rules in the Bible, and when people tell me that it's offensive to them to see me do homosexual things and that as long as I don't actually act on it they're okay with it...yeah, I'm GAY, I'm not going to settle down with a WOMAN because I'm NOT ATTRACTED to them in that way AT ALL, and I'm certainly not going to be a fucking loner because YOU can't seem to accept that PEOPLE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and just because you CAN'T UNDERSTAND those differences doesn't mean they're automatically BAD.

People seem to hide behind religion like a security blanket. Gays are confusing and you can't understand them? Why not hate on them and then hide behind your religion and mark anything they say as a retort as "offensive" and "rude"? Well guess what: gays can't just ignore their sexual feelings, just like how straight people can't ignore their feelings. COMMON SENSE PEOPLE. Why do you think we have so many predators? Why do you think people get raped? Not because people are disrespectful, it's because their judgement is clouded by pure sexual want. And I'm sure even if they could ignore it, they'd definitely be ignoring it for the likes of you self righteous scumbags, simply because you find it offensive. /sarcasm

And then there's a simple fact that people use religion as a security blanket. Whenever something goes wrong, they turn to the blanket to make things better, and whenever somebody challenges them, they thrust their blanket forward and hide behind it. People simply don't like the image of having nobody looking out for them or the image of having nothing before and after life. They fear the idea of simply popping out of existence, wanting nothing more than to continue on living in a paradise after they finish life. They don't like the idea of getting no reward at the end of the terrible life that they've forced themselves to, so they developed religion to give them hope of something else after their dull lives finish, and to give them hope that somebody loves them infinitely and always forgives them. Seems kinda...childish.

That kinda got off topic, but oh well. If anyone can salvage something that resembles an opinion somewhere in there, feel free to agree with or combat against it in the comments below. This isn't my entire opinion, I just posted what was bugging me the most about it all right now. I generally don't memorize what I don't like about things. :P

Social Networking and Cats

Firstly, I'd like to mention that my cat has become a real pain in the ass and we're almost definitely giving her away. She throws up all over the carpets, she fights with the puppy, my Mom is allergic to her and I think I am slightly allergic as well, and if we get rid of her I get my own office space in the basement. So yeah...being a family of dog lovers and all, we have no reason whatsoever to keep her around.

Now that that little blurb is outta the way...

I might reactivate my Facebook account. Or create a new one. Google+ may be a helluva lot better, but the invites and the fact that I always need to spend a minute or two signing in and out of accounts so I can actually use it is super annoying. And not a lot of people actually use G+ anyways. Now, why would I want to go back to such a terrible social network anyway?

People.

Everyone uses Facebook. You rarely find a person who has not created a Facebook account. Especially if you're young and spend a lot of time on the internet, you're probably gonna have a Facebook. This may be helpful for people like me who find it impossible to chat with people throughout the comment systems of various art sites. And since I'm trying to get to know more people on the internet and have only had success doing so through social networking so far, I thought it might help to tap into the largest social network to date, giving me a wide range of social options to broaden my horizon - a horizon not limited to 140 characters like on Twitter. So in summary of all that...I hate Facebook, I really do, but would I benefit any from reactivating my account or even making a secret private one that few people I know in real life will have access to? I kinda want feedback on this, so if you wouldn't mind commenting below with your opinion that'd be awesome.

Anyway, that's about it for this blog. Seeya!

P.S. - Would anyone find it a bit more convenient if I posted a link to each new blog post on Twitter as soon as I finish them? I'm willing to do it if it'd help people to actually read the blog.

Bloggity blog.

I don't really feel like blogging tonight, but for some reason I keep bugging myself to do it, and I need to keep some people posted on stuff and need to show a person to my blog. I'm just in my room listening to music and feeling kinda lonely yet wanting to not delve into anything but simple conversation about random stuff while chatting to people. Drama and emotional stuff just...I don't want anything to do with it. My mind is finally starting to react to school and is preparing room for future drama and ignoring all the current stuff. One day of freedom left...

So yesterday my Mom and I went out shopping. Grabbed a number of things, but unfortunately not what I intended to get from Toys R Us, because they don't stalk that certain brand. Went all over the place doing errands and got McDonalds for lunch. Even ended up with some batteries for my old first-generation Pokemon games...those were a bitch to replace. Came home and attempted to put a new barbecue together, but of course my Mom doesn't look at the fucking pictures in the instructions and we ended up putting it together backwards and after two hours of work it had to be taken apart and put together again the right way. Good thing I wasn't around for that though...

Hayden called an hour or so before dinner and invited me over for the night. Mom dropped me off there after we gave up on the barbecue and we ordered wings for dinner and watched the new episode of Doctor Who. Hayden put in way more money towards dinner than I could...now I have an empty wallet, but it was so worth it. Did random shit like played video games and hung out on his roof and drank tea and talked. Just what I needed to get my mood out of the hole it settled down in, though I still feel extremely lonely. Sleeping was kind of weird, but I was actually able to manage it fairly well at his house in comparison to how I slept when I was camping with my Dad.

All that is what I have to blog about at the moment, At least, the personal bloggy stuff. I may rant about religion soon as well as discuss another topic. But after tonight, I may not be posting for a few days because I may not be up to it with all the confusion and testing.

So basically what has been going through my mind.

You know how I always seem to give a lot less of a shit about everything that happens to me? Like, people will say stuff to me or about me and it won't affect me at all? That's because I've pretty much got two halves to my thinking: the older, more mature one that refuses to ever give up control, and the immature little brat that sits there pouting and crying in the back of my head, deeply ingrained within my subconscious. My main line of thinking never really gives a shit about whatever anyone says, but subconsciously I'll be hurting throughout the day, and sometimes it'll take over a bit and give me really weird mood swings. I don't know why the fuck my brain thinks it should pretty much split my thoughts between two personas and shove all the good stuff into the main one and throw the scraps to the subconsciousy one, but it does, and it can be extremely convenient for pretending that I'm totally okay while really part of me is having a mental breakdown on the inside.

I don't know if I explained that well enough, but whatever, that's the best I can do right now. :P

Since I'm going back to school to see all the people I've had weird mixed emotional qualms with, doing two fairly large and important tests within the first three days (math exam and EQAO), having to put up with the Science teacher I had last year and hate so much throughout the entire semester (first thing in the morning, too, so first class to start the school year), and having no clue whatsoever who I'm going to hang out with during breaks and such...my brain has been feeding my weaker, sunconsciousy half - which is basically a whiny inner child - all the bad thoughts to get me prepped for school. I actually have zero care about what happens on the first day and have been in complete physical bliss over the past couple days...but in between activities my subconsciousy bit takes over and wipes the bad emotion all over the good ones I have been trying to put in place.

So yeah...in case you wanted to know why I'm simultaneously happy yet suddenly depressed at times, all that is the reason...I think. I'm not exactly the best at making a clear translation from thought to paper/internet, but I sorta wrote what I could and hopefully at least a person or two will actually understand it. But probably not.

Shopping! (day trip to the US)

So as I was sitting around waiting for a huge load of laundry to dry, my Mom phones and alerts me that she wants to go to the US and that she'd be home at 1:15 (25 minutes after the call) to pick us up and head over the border. As soon as I heard this I...announced it to Twitter. :P Then I went and grabbed a shower and threw on whatever clothes I had leftover in my dresser and jumped in the car.

After going into the fabric store and grabbing the supplies my Mom needed to continue work on the quilt she's making for my bed, we headed out and basically roamed around stores such as Wal Mart, Kmart, Target, and RadioShack, looking to see if there was anything cheap we wanted to pick up. My Mom picked my brother and I out a couple laptop pad things for our laps that have little extendable mouse pads in them. It also protects my balls from the excess heat produced by the machine, since mine is so old it overheats during normal usage. We also got candy corn, tons of soda, and went out for lunch to Wendys and had dinner at Ponerosa or whatever the place was called. For lunch: bacon deluxe combo. For dinner: FRIED SHRIMPIES! :D (in case you didn't know, shrimp are like my all-time favourite food)

On the way back we stopped at Dave's house (y'know, my Mom's most recent love interest) and quickly fled from there with him to grab a snack at DQ. I was boring and had a slushie. After that we went back to his place and dropped him back home...well...he went home after my Mom sat in the grass and talked to him while I was hanging out the car window resting my head on the roof of the car and sipping my Mom's coffee that she picked up at some point and still had a fair amount of warmth to it. (that totally wasn't a run-on sentence shhh)

Then we headed home. the drive wasn't very eventful other than my Mom and I talking about every uncomfortable thing possible while my brother was half-dead listening to his iPod. I clarified a lot to her about my fetish, but she still thinks I'm gonna end up with a wife...haha, yeah, you keep thinking that.

So anyway. Tomorrow we're going to Toys R Us, and other than that, I have jack shit planned to do before school starts up again on Tuesday. Yippee. I think I'll just tell my "inner child" to stop being such a nervous wreck and try to enjoy the last bit of freedom I have. (I'll explain in the next blog post :P)

Welp, that's about all I have to say. Today was pretty fun and eventful, and I'm tired and ready for another night of watching Disney movies on my own. Yup...

Hopefully not too annoying...

...but I switched some things around. Firstly, there are no longer ads between the posts! Since they collected no revenue unless you clicked them, it was kinda pointless. Then I also changed around the names and dates underneath the blog titles so that the names actually fit. And, to make it a lot easier to scroll down to the bottom of things, there are now only 3 blog posts on the main page. This'll also help you people that have slow connections or computers and need that little bit of content cut off to make loading times easier.

That's about it for changes, I think...oh, I did add some sort of "Reaction" bar so those who are too lazy to comment can pick one-word reactions to the content of each individual blog. *goes to test it himself* This post looks rather 'boring'...

EDIT: Broke reactions. Can't have more than 4. This is pointless... *removes*